


Holding Out for a Hero

by SunnyZitao



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Drag Queen!Kyungsoo, Drag Queens, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Minor Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 00:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20321749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyZitao/pseuds/SunnyZitao
Summary: A perfectionist through and through, Kyungsoo wanted his first performance as a professional drag queen to go smoothly. He had the support of Jongin, a few new friends, and a crowd of drunk strangers; what could possibly go wrong?





	Holding Out for a Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Caution: there is a very small anecdote where Kyungsoo reminisces about a past situation containing strong nsfw themes. The paragraph begins with "Thinking back on the incident," so just skip it if you don't want to read it. Enjoy :)

“Baby, you almost done?” Kyungsoo shouted from across the small apartment, ignoring the fact that the walls in their building are paper-thin and he _may _or may not have heard a muffled “shut up” from his neighbor. “I’m not tryna’ be late on my first day, we gotta go!” He sighed and grabbed his parka and purse from where they were draped over the old recliner, walking over to the front door to wait for his boyfriend. It was a bad habit, Kyungsoo was well aware of it, but he couldn’t seem to help the incessant tapping of his foot as his patience wore thinner by the second.

“Just a sec, ‘Soo, I’m just packing up the wig- FUCK!” Jongin yelled back, followed by a loud thud and a string of cursing. Kyungsoo considered asking if he was okay, but a weak “I’m good,” from Jongin answered the question before he could even open his mouth. After a few more moments, Jongin _finally _came out of their shared bedroom, carrying the bag containing Kyungsoo’s wig and looking unfairly attractive. His long hair, half tied-up in a casual bun, fell gently over his shoulders, his bronzer and highlight accentuated his already naturally sculpted face, and his outfit, though obviously meticulously curated, looked unbelievably casual on him and gave him a certain air of nonchalance that Kyungsoo admired, despite their polar opposite fashion styles.

Kyungsoo stares at Jongin for a good ten seconds, raking his eyes from head to toe before clicking his tongue. “Kim Jongin, I will never get over how stupidly attractive you are. It’s been, what, seven years? And every time I look at you, I still feel like a hormonal little college freshman all over again,” he batted his eyelashes for dramatic effect, crumbling Jongin’s cool-guy demeanor and making him burst into a fit of giggles.

“Alright, Kyungsoo, don’t cream your pants again like you did in dance class that one time,” Jongin jokingly chided, now fully laughing as Kyungsoo’s brows furrowed and his ears grew unbelievably red. “God, ‘Soo, you should see your face right now! Don’t worry, even back then I thought it was endearing- ow ow ow OW!” Kyungsoo, fingers tightly gripping Jongin’s ear, started leading them out the door. Jongin whined, feeling like a dog being led by his leash, but just in a terribly literal, not-sexy way. Kyungsoo only let go of Jongin’s ear once they reached the elevator of their building. He pushed the button to go down while Jongin whined and rubbed his ear dramatically.

Thinking back on the incident, Kyungsoo reasoned that it wasn’t _really _his fault for losing control, Jongin was just an asshole; a stupidly hot, oblivious asshole that decided to show up to dance class in a red crop top and black, low-waisted sweatpants that really didn’t leave anything to the imagination. Kyungsoo tried to compose himself, he really did, but when he and Jongin had suddenly made eye contact in the mirror, the latter deliciously shiny with sweat and giving Kyungsoo a confident grin as he pushed his hair back, Kyungsoo had absolutely just lost it. It wasn’t _really _his fault for being overly hormonal; his lack of decent resources on sexuality and inability to experiment was the real culprit. At least, that’s what he told himself.

On second thought, maybe Jongin wasn’t oblivious.

Shaking his head, Kyungsoo sighed and turned to Jongin with a small, embarrassed smile. “I can’t believe you noticed… I mean, I guess I wasn’t exactly the _most _discreet, but I figured that that would be the last assumption on your mind!” He whined, his lips forming a pout.

“Like I said, ‘Soo, I found it endearing,” Jongin reminded him with a laugh. “I was already interested in you before that, but after I realized that the feeling was, uh, mutual,” he earned a smack on the shoulder for that, “well, I really wanted to get to know you, y’know?”

“So, me creaming my pants in dance class made you fall in love with me? God, you’re weird,”

“I think it’s romantic!”

“Whatever you wanna believe, baby,” Kyungsoo said in a mocking coo, pinching Jongin’s cheeks and making him whine again. They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

“I guess we were both pretty weird from the start,” Kyungsoo said through the laughter, burying his flushed face in Jongin’s chest. Jongin rubbed Kyungsoo’s back, still laughing, as well, but less at their conversation and more at how adorable his smaller boyfriend looked right then. The elevator door opened and they both walked out, hand-in-hand again, finally making their way across the city.

~

Kyungsoo had always been interested in makeup, ever since he was four years old when he first saw his mom applying a gorgeous red lipstick while she was preparing for a job interview. Since Kyungsoo went to his voice lessons after preschool, he always got home after his mother did, and, by that point, she had already washed all of the makeup from her face. It was amazing to him, how just a few colors and lines could change a person’s appearance so much yet so little. From then on, Kyungsoo was enraptured; he would often go into his mother’s makeup drawer and apply blush to his lips and cheeks, shimmery eyeshadow all over his lids, and fill in his brows with a pencil. Of course, for the first year or so, it looked more like clown makeup than anything a person could wear to an interview, but it was still enjoyable to him and he could see himself improving every day. At first, his parents, especially his mom, thought it was adorable; they assumed he just liked drawing and coloring and his face was the easiest, and cheapest, canvas to use. It became more of an issue, however, when he grew older and his parents realized that his love for makeup never subsided, that it wasn’t drawing that he loved, but the art of makeup itself. He was never in his room studying engineering or business like his father had told him to do, he was watching _RuPaul’s Drag Race_ and shopping for MAC products online. He wasn’t going out to café’s and karaoke bars with his best friend, he was going over to her house so they could have a spa night and do each other’s makeup. After his activities came into the light, it wasn’t a pretty picture like he so desperately wanted, or rather needed it to be, but Kyungsoo never liked to dwell on that period of his life; he was grateful for what he had now, for the relationships he’d mended and maintained, for the life he’d led so far, and that’s all he really had to focus on.

~

Freddie’s Palace was in Greenwich Village, about two trains and a short walk from where Kyungsoo and Jongin lived in Queens. It was such a nice change of scenery for them, from the infinite florescent signs and crowded streets of Flushing to the more residential calmness of the village. Despite that calmness, the village was always their go-to party destination, whether it was just for a quick few drinks and a dance or a bar-hopping escapade that had both of them passing out at the nearest hotel at five in the morning. It seemed other people had the same idea, as for the past few years, every bar and club in the village always seemed to be packed, even before the sun had set. That, much to Kyungsoo’s delight, made it the perfect place to work at a drag club. Full house every night, wealthy straight girls with their wealthy straight friends, drunk out of their minds, and giving a seemingly endless flow of tips to every performer that walked their way, and more queer people than he had ever, in his life, seen in one place. He wanted that life, he wanted to be the one in sparkling red stiletto boots, walking around the people in the crowd that are practically _begging_ to give him money, calling his name and boosting his ego. He wanted it so bad, and then he finally got it. Although Freddie’s definitely wasn’t the most prestigious drag club around, it wasn’t low budget, either, and had a good reputation of being safe and inclusive; tourists and locals alike felt comfortable going there for a good night out. All the more opportunities for Kyungsoo to get some extra cash and free drinks.

When they had almost reached their last stop, Kyungsoo checked his watch; 4:58 p.m. It’s later than he wanted to be, but the show doesn’t start until eight o’clock, so he figured they were making pretty decent time considering how late they left. After getting off at Christopher Street Station, they walked down a few more blocks until they came across a mounted neon sign reading “Freddie’s.” They made their way inside and were greeted by the hostess, who quickly ushered them through the back door and into the changing room.

What they were met with was pure beauty.

Drag queens all around the room were at different stages of their process; some had only just started tucking, some were applying their makeup, others their wig, and a select few were nearly done with everything, just touching up their hair and tying up a few loose ends. Those few looked a bit older and more prestigious, so it was likely that they were long-time performers that would go out before the show to interact with the crowd, get everybody a little excited and anticipate the real show. It was something Freddie’s had always done and, as simple as it seemed, it made Kyungsoo immediately feel at home there.

Although Jongin didn’t do drag himself, that environment was also very familiar to him, since he had helped Kyungsoo style his wigs and curate his most iconic outfits. Although, today was slightly different, since now Kyungsoo was actually getting paid for doing drag shows, and there was more pressure on Jongin to make sure the other’s outfit and hair were exactly to his liking; he was confident in his skills, though, so despite being a little nervous, he knew everything would go perfectly tonight.

After finally settling into his chair and lining up all the products he needed, Kyungsoo got to work. He had already put on all of his shapewear before they left the apartment, so all he needed to do was his makeup, hair, and perfect the final outfit. He began by blocking out his brows, putting layers upon layers of glue until his brow hairs were completely flat. After letting them dry, he covered them when an orange-toned concealer and finished them off with banana powder to block out any blue tones. He applied a hydrating primer with a strong grip and set it with powder to make it last before continuing with his foundation. It followed a similar pattern to his brows, perfecting one layer, letting it half-dry, then putting on another until any and all of the natural tones on his face were completely blocked out by the foundation. After highlighting and contouring his face with different shades of concealer, he threw on his signature thick, striking brows, outlined the shape he wanted his lips to be with a bloodred lip liner, then began working on his shadow.

Kyungsoo envisioned his makeup to be very late-80’s Madonna-inspired, so he wanted to do a fairly simple, but undoubtably bold, eyeshadow look; a fierce, electrifying pink that went all the way up to his browbone, a slightly deeper shade of glitter pigment on his mobile lid, and tiny gemstones glued to his inner corner and under his eyebrows. Finally, he finished off the eyes with sharp, pitch black eyeliner, a pair of thick false eyelashes, and a coat of bright blue mascara, just on the tips of the falsies. Grabbing his red blush, he gingerly swept it across his cheeks and nose, reminiscent of the way Soju did her makeup; he admired her so much and always wanted to incorporate some aspect of her look into his. The only finishing touches left were to fill out his lips with a red liquid lipstick, blend a darker red lipstick in the corners, and then add a cartoonish white highlight to achieve his signature pop art flair. Doing a once-over in the vanity mirror, Kyungsoo mentally patted himself on the back for making his face looked like it was crafted by the gay gods, once again outdoing himself; he swore he was his own rival.

Kyungsoo swiveled his chair to look for Jongin, calling him over with a subdued shout and a handwave once he spotted him over in the corner, fussing with the wig again.

“Well? How do I look?” He asked, shooting Jongin the most mockingly sultry expression he could possibly muster.

“Damn, baby, you look _good_. You single? Can I get your number?” he joked, checking out Kyungsoo’s face and giving a low whistle. Kyungsoo just laughed and slapped his arm weakly, then turned his chair around to admire himself in the mirror once more.

“I look like every 80’s boy’s wet dream,” Kyungsoo turned his head from side to side, checking his highlights from every angle, even going as far as to use his phone’s flashlight to check if he blended his highlight well enough. He knew he looked good, but, well, Kyungsoo was a _bit_ of a perfectionist, so it was inevitable that he felt the need to make sure every line and angle in his makeup was as perfect as he could possibly make it.

Once he deemed his makeup stage-ready, he looked up at Jongin and tapped his thigh to get his attention. “I forgot to ask, but did you finish the last touches on my outfit?” he asked, “I need to start getting ready, I think I’m going on pretty soon.” Jongin answered with an excited “yup,” and a nod, and offered his hand to Kyungsoo so he could lead them the where his outfit was displayed on the dressmaker form.

“A few of the rhinestones came loose, so I just had to reinforce them with a couple of extra stitches,” Jongin rambled excitedly. “Oh, and the collar was lifting up for some reason, so I ironed it down and added some double-sided tape near the back so it would still look casual but wouldn’t lift up mid-show or something. I also fleshed out the embroidery on the back while you were sleeping-“

“Jongin!”

“But wait, hear me out! It looks sick as fuck, you’ll see, just trust me,” he pleaded, trying to quell Kyungsoo’s worries about Jongin losing sleep for his sake. If Jongin was being honest, working on sewing and embroidering into the wee hours of the morning was something he was more than used to; when he was in his dance academy as a child, he never liked any of the performance costumes that the company’s catalogue had to offer, they just didn’t feel right for him. After he couldn’t take it anymore, he begged his mother to teach him how to make his own clothes and, from then on, he would make his own costumes for every one of his solo dance performances. Now that Jongin was in a dance crew, where he was contractually required to wear matching uniforms and costume with the other dancers, he instead applied his tailoring skills to help Kyungsoo with his drag costumes.

Kyungsoo was in absolute awe over the finished costume, how Jongin so masterfully stitched on the rhinestones to resemble the color pattern of Whitney Houston’s black jacket from back in the 80’s. The embroidery on the back was absolutely breathtaking, as well; a wireframe, red spider lily with minimal shading on the bottoms of the petals and a gorgeous, dreamy design on either side of the lily that served to complement and highlight it. In short, it was above and beyond what Kyungsoo had dreamed of, and he couldn’t help but stand there with his mouth gaping open like a fish.

“Well? How do you like it?” Jongin inquired expectantly, albeit a little nervous.

“Baby, I- I don’t even know what to say,” Kyungsoo uttered once he finally finished gawking at the masterpiece in front of him. “All I wanna do right now is kiss the fuck outta you, but I’m not tryna’ ruin my makeup, so I’ll just get dressed instead.” He flashed Jongin a thankful smile and squeezed the hand that he was still holding before finally letting go so he could get ready. Jongin watched closely as Kyungsoo slipped on black fishnets over his legs, how he fit the red, satin one-piece corset over his breast form and laced up the back without any trouble, and paid particular attention to how he smoothly slid on his black, thigh-high, thick-heeled boots. The entire process was rather unceremonious, but it didn’t matter to Jongin. He didn’t just find Kyungsoo gorgeous, he considered him a work of art; more than once, Jongin has thought that his boyfriend deserved his own MoMA exhibit.

After Kyungsoo adjusted and smoothed out his outfit, he quickly moved to his wig, which was resting gently on a wig stand, and took it off the stand to begin fitting it over his head. It was a beautiful, voluptuous, pale blonde wig with three, large victory rolls adorning the front-left; a strange contrast to his otherwise 80’s-inspired look, but Kyungsoo found it beautiful. “Jongin,” he called, “can you help me? I wanna make sure I don’t move any piece of hair outta place, plus I need another pair of eyes when I glue down the lace.”

“Yeah, of course! You got the spirit gum in your bag?”

“Yeah, I took it out already. It’s on the vanity.” Kyungsoo moved to sit back down in front of the vanity mirror and Jongin followed closely behind, pulling up a chair next to Kyungsoo and sitting down. The rest of the process went by fairly smoothly; Kyungsoo and Jongin worked in silence, only speaking up if one had a question for the other. Once the wig was finally secured, he finished off the look with his jewel-adorned choker, big hoop earrings, and gold bangles and finally, after two and a half hours, was completely dressed up in drag. Kyungsoo twirled around in the mirror, checking out his hair, face, outfit, curves, and his ass that was deliciously accentuated by the corset.

“Damn, I wanna smack my _own _ass I look so good,” Kyungsoo boasted, giving his cheek a little tap and sticking it out. That pulled a laugh out of Jongin, who walked behind Kyungsoo and placed his hands on his hips.

“Carefully, ‘Soo, I might end being the one doing that instead,” he warned, half-jokingly, but Kyungsoo knew that look in his eyes. Good things he remembered to cover his ears with foundation, or else Jongin would have definitely seen how red they were.

“Stop messin’ around, we’re not the only ones in the room, y’know.”

“We could be if you give me the O-K.”

“J- Jongin!”

“Alright, alright,” Jongin digressed, putting his hands up in defeat. “You have a show to do anyway, your sexiness shouldn’t be contained to just this room,” he added with a wink. Kyungsoo just blows him off with an eyeroll and continues to admire himself in the mirror. In the middle of their banter, the stage manager walked into the dressing room through the back entrance. Upon seeing that most of the queens were done getting ready, she smiled in relief and called for everyone’s attention.

“Alright, ya’ll,” she started, “we have a few changes to the usual lineup. First of all, you three,” she said, pointing to three queens lounging on an old red love seat, “your usual order is in reverse. You,” now she pointed to one of the queens that looked very vintage Hollywood-inspired, “you’re fourth in line this time, since you have another duet later on. Oh, that’ll be eighth in line, by the way.” She goes on like this for a minute, designating time slots and breaks for each of the performers, until she finally points her gaze towards Kyungsoo.

“Alright, now our fresh meat,” she jokes, and for some reason it strikes a tiny pang of fear in Kyungsoo’s heart, “Since this is your first time, your slot is smackdab in the middle; takes the pressure off, since you’re not the first or last impression, yeah?” Kyungsoo nodded in acknowledgement and thanked her. “No problem, love. Alright, anyone have any issues? Questions?” Everybody shook their head in response. “Okay, then! Show starts in 15, so everyone start getting ready,” she suggested as she started walking back towards the door “do warm-ups, listen to music, have a drink, do whatever you gotta do. Good luck!” With that last bit of encouragement, she walked out and shut the door behind her.

Kyungsoo felt weird.

Typically, he wouldn’t be the nervous type when it came to performances; he had the utmost confidence in his abilities, in addition to have Jongin’s undying support, so he should have felt the same as usual. But… he just didn’t. He felt a sudden twist of anxiety in his stomach, so he sat down and tried to quench the feeling with some water, but nothing seemed to help. Then the anxious thoughts came: what if he messed up during his performance? What if he put on the worst show of his drag career and got fired on the first day? What if he tripped in his heels and busted his head open?

Jongin must have seen his boyfriend’s change in demeanor, because within a matter of seconds he was crouching down in front of where Kyungsoo was seated, lifting the latter’s head up by the chin so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. “’Soo, you alright?” Jongin asked, his voice soft and laced with sincerity. His voice alone dispelled some of the anxiety bubbling in his stomach, but a majority still remained.

“I’m fine, just a little tired,” he averted his eyes away from Jongin’s concerned gaze and gave him a small, weak smile, which was meant to be reassuring, but came out more unconvincing than anything else.

“I don’t buy it,” Jongin moved his head so he was in Kyungsoo’s line of view again. “We’ve been dating for _way_ too long for me to not know what you look like when you’re anxious.” He knew Kyungsoo struggled with anxiety to a certain extent, but it typically affected other areas of his life, so was unusual for him to be like this right before a show and it made him even more worried. For Kyungsoo’s sake, though, he maintained a calm demeanor so that it may rub off on him.

Kyungsoo sighed, finally looking Jongin in his eyes again. “I guess… I don’t know, when the manager left, everything just felt too _real _all of a sudden, y’know? Like, before, it just felt like another show, but now it’s like…” he pauses, thinking about how to put his thoughts into words, “if this all works out, I could really make a career out of this, y’know? Like, I’ve joked before about just wanting free drinks, but I _want _this, Jongin, I want this so bad. I guess I’m just worried about not performing well, or something going wrong. I don’t know, it’s dumb-”

“No, no, it’s not dumb at all, ‘Soo! I hear you, baby, it’s hard getting your career started in something that seems so temporary to everyone else, but just look at all those queens from _Drag Race_; even the ones that got eliminated first have lasting careers,” he holds Kyungsoo’s hands in his own, gently rubbing them with his thumbs. “And look at all the queens in this place too! So many of them are older and are still here doing what they love. You don’t think they’ve had a few bad performances in their careers? Some of them were probably just as nervous as you are for their first real show.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Kyungsoo agrees quietly.

“See? Besides, when have you _ever _had a boring show? You shine like the fuckin’ sun on stage, ‘Soo, it was honestly kind of embarrassing for all the other performers,” he whispers the last part, which finally drew a giggle out of Kyungsoo. “Just remember: whatever happens tonight, whether it goes perfectly smooth or not, I’m always gonna be your ride-or-die, okay? Whatever you need, I’m here for you.” Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo’s hands reassuringly, and the latter finally lifted his head up straight, bringing Jongin up with him to stand.

“You know I love you, like, with my whole fuckin’ heart, right?”

“I know, ‘Soo.”

“Good, that fact’s gonna have to tide you over ‘til later, ‘cause I need you to leave.”

“Wait, what-”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head off, I’m actually okay now,” he laughed, “I just need to get pumped up before I go on,” Kyungsoo moved towards his purse to grab his phone and earbuds so he could listen to his favorite playlist while he calmed his nerves.

“Aw, you called my head pretty!”

“Babe.”

“Alright, I’m going, I’m going. You’re gonna kick ass, baby!” Jongin exclaimed, finally walking out of the door as he gave Kyungsoo two thumbs up. He shook his head and laughed, then finally put his earbuds in and hit the play button on his phone. Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For the Money” burst into his ears and he instantly felt more in his element. Kyungsoo had always been a fan of 80’s pop and R&B singers like Donna Summer, Diana Ross, Whitney Houston, Chaka Khan, Paula Abdul, and so many others; it was partially how he got into drag in the first place. He had been searching for covers of “I’m Every Woman” when he came across a YouTube video of a drag queen performing to that song. The quality of the video was piss poor, a whopping 360p, but that didn’t stop Kyungsoo from falling in love with the artistry of it.

“Oh,” he muttered under his breath. He forgot that he added his performance song to this playlist, but since it was already on, he figured he might as well go through tonight’s routine in his head. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but sing aloud to the song, probably a little louder than he should have been, but most of the other queens had left the room already in favor of waiting behind the stage curtain. The song finishes and Kyungsoo looks up to find three pairs of eyes on him; only then he realizes how loud he must have been. His first instinct is to apologize, but the three onlookers started clapping before he even had the chance, complimenting him profusely on his voice.

“Da-a-amn, bitch, you got some type o’ voice!” one queen exclaims, her thick southern accent coming out more than she probably intended it to.

“You in one o’ them gay choirs or somethin’?” another half-jokes, but she looked impressed all the same. Kyungsoo thanked them cheerfully; he knew his voice was pretty decent, but to be so openly praised by complete strangers for it triggered a rare feeing of genuine pride in the pit of his stomach.

“Hey, speakin’ of gay choirs, you lookin’ for some singin’ gigs, too?” the third queen asked. Her thick New York accent was like a punch in the face compared to his and Jongin’s comparatively milder drawls. “We’re actually in a lil’ group,” she continued, “and we were lookin’ for someone else to join- need some new flavor, ya’ know? You seem like the perfect fit.” She had her hand on her chin, a confident smirk adorning her face as her gaze bore into Kyungsoo. He laughed nervously under the intense attention, then finally processed exactly what she just said.

“Wait, you guys are musicians? Like, you sing ‘n shit?” He asked, bewildered by the fact that he found other drag queens who do music like him.

“Hell yeah we do!” one of them exclaims. She wraped her arm around the southerner’s shoulder and started introducing each of them to Kyungsoo. “This pretty little southern belle is Jongdae! We met him at one of his recitals when he was is Juilliard. He moved here from Texas, oh, I wanna say somethin’ like seven years ago?” She pondered for a moment, then shruged it off and moved onto her other friend. “Anyway, this _classy _lady here is New York born-and-raised Junmyeon; he’s kind of our singer and manager at the same time. He majored in business at Cornell before transferring to Ithaca for music, so he has a lo-o-ot of connections,” she explained, smiling almost teasingly at Junmyeon, who rolled his eyes before directing his attention back at Kyungsoo.

“Basically, I handle funding and advertising. Real simple stuff, since this is just a side gig for us, but I guess it does help to have a few connections, huh?” Kyungsoo nods in agreement.

“That’s kind of amazing,” Kyungsoo praises, “being able to manage _and _be a part of the band. Wouldn’t that usually cause a lotta tension?”

“Well,” Junmyeon thinks for a moment. “I think we’re just all so musically compatible that everything just kinda works out, ya know?” he explained thoughtfully. “Plus we’re not all famous ‘n shit, so there’s no creative pressure, or none o’ that ‘I want the spotlight’ mess; we all get our moments to shine, plus I’m not much of a hard-ass these days, so I think that definitely reduces the overall stress.”

“’Not much of a hard-ass’?”

“Watch it, hoe.”

Kyungsoo chuckled at their casual banter, then turned to the last queen who hadn’t yet introduced herself. “And what’s your name?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like he had just done something he shouldn’t have.

“Well, since you asked…” She draws a deep breath, smiling devilishly at Kyungsoo before going into, possibly, the longest self-introduction Kyungsoo had ever experienced in his life. “This fine piece of ass you see before you is Byun Baekhyun,” he said, placing his hand on his hip. “I was born on May 6th, 1992, so I’m a Taurus, my blood type is O, I sing and I play the piano, oh, and I was born in Korea, but my family moved to Poughkeepsie when I was 11, which I guess is why my New York accent isn’t as thick as Junmyeon’s here,” he rambled all in one breath, which Kyungsoo had to admit, was kind of impressive; his breath support must be crazy good. After laughing awkwardly at the sudden plethora of information, Kyungsoo figured he should introduce himself, since the three of them were being so kind to him.

“Um,” he cleared his throat, “It’s really great to meet you all! I’m Kyungsoo, I live in Queens with my boyfriend, Jongin.”

“That fella’ that was helpin’ you out earlier?” Jongdae inquired, cocking his head to the side.

“Ooh, I was wonderin’ what he was doin’ here!” Baekhyun chimed. “God _damn _he’s fine; you’re a lucky girl, Kyungsoo!” He said, nudging Kyungsoo gently with his elbow. It was kind of weird for Kyungsoo to hear someone else call his boyfriend attractive, since most people who knew that they were a couple refrained from thirsting over them in any manner. He knew Baekhyun meant no harm, though, so he just shook his head and laughed it off.

“Yeah, that was him. I can do all this myself, but it’s nice to have someone with you, y’know? Like, not just a second pair of eyes, but someone that’ll keep you from psyching yourself out, too,” Kyungsoo explained, and he couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at his lips when he thought of how wonderful Jongin was to him. Baekhyun, Junmyeon, and Jongdae all cooed at once, gushing about how cute he was and how in-love he must have been to get ‘heart eyes’ so quickly. They continued their chatter for another couple of minutes, sipping on a few drinks to get in the mood until the stage manager came in again, staring directly at Kyungsoo.

“Uh, Do Kyungsoo?”

“Yup, that’s me.”

“You’re on in ten. Wanna make your way backstage?” It was more of a rhetorical question than she was letting on, but Kyungsoo nodded anyway and got up from his seat. The other three groaned in disappointment, but cheered up once Jongdae suggested that they all exchange numbers with Kyungsoo. Everyone quickly agreed and, once that was done, Kyungsoo headed off to follow the manager.

“Good luck!” Junmyeon yelled, smiling sweetly and waving his dainty hands at Kyungsoo.

“Lip-sync your pretty little heart out, ya hear?” Jongdae’s cat-like smile was even more endearing than his accent, Kyungsoo thought.

“Hit us up if you wanna hang out after the show’s done, ‘kay?” Baekhyun asked, and Kyungsoo gave him two thumbs up in response, yelling out a “thanks, girls!” before finally walking out and going backstage.

The chest-pounding vibration of the bass was the first thing Kyungsoo’s mind registered once he walked out; it felt like it was rattling every bone in his body. The treble came a little after that, layers upon layers of synths, guitars, and booming voices bleeding out of the speakers. Then came the noise of the crowd cheering, hollering, and whistling for whoever was on stage at that time; they were clearly drunk out of their minds, Kyungsoo thought, even if he couldn’t yet see their faces. Once they reached the backstage area, where a few other performers were catching their breath and fanning themselves, the stage manager reminded him again that he’s up after the next performance and wished him good luck. He thanked her and promptly plopped down in one of the folding chairs scattered across the area. After talking with Baekhyun and the others, Kyungsoo felt much less nervous than he had before, he could have even said he felt a sense of tranquility knowing that he had other people cheering him on than just Jongin and a crowd of drunk strangers.

While Kyungsoo spent the next eight minutes or so hyping himself up, the other two performances finished up faster than he could even blink. “You’re up,” the stage manager whispered to Kyungsoo. He got up from his seat and took a deep breath as the announcer started introducing Kyungsoo on the loudspeaker.

“A’ight, y’all, we got a _lovely_ new queen here tonight for her first performance with us,” the announcer began as the crowd’s cheers got louder. “Please welcome our very own goddess from the heart of South Korea: _Divine Seoul_!”

It was time.

The lights went dark as Kyungsoo made his way to the front of the stage and got into position. When the lights were switched back on, a simple white spotlight shone on Kyungsoo’s feminine figure; he was positioned on his side dramatically, as if he had just fallen and was waiting for someone to come help him back up. Only a beat later did the music finally begin.

_ Where have all the good men gone_

_ And where are all the gods? _

_ Where’s the streetwise Hercules_

_ To fight the rising odds?_

Kyungsoo slowly rose to his knees, microphone gripped tightly in both hands as he continued to lip-sync as theatrically as possible.

_Isn’t there a white knight_

_ Upon a fiery steed?_

_ Late at night, I toss and I turn_

_ And I dream of what I need_

He rose to his feet, head hanging down while there was a brief lull in the song; then the harmonies just before the chorus began, and Kyungsoo snapped his head up and brought the microphone to his lips once more.

_I need a hero!_

_ I’m holdin’ out for a hero_

_ ‘Til the end of the night._

_ He’s gotta be strong_

_ And he’s gotta be fast_

_ And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight!_

The performance continued like that, with Kyungsoo dancing and strutting across the stage, now fully in-character, and the crowd _loved it. _After the second verse, Kyungsoo decided to make his way down the stage, weaving his way through the crowd while interacting with everyone he could. He blew kisses, shook his ass, even caressed a few people’s faces, but, most importantly, people were tipping him like it was their last night on earth. Just in a minute and a half, Kyungsoo had racked up almost forty dollars in tips and was suddenly thankful that he wore boots long enough that he could easily stuff money into them.

Once the instrumental section began, Kyungsoo scanned the crowd for a brief second before finally locking eyes with Jongin, who look absolutely thrilled with the performance. He was cheering, clapping, whistling, doing really anything he could to encourage his boyfriend, and Kyungsoo couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his plush, red lips. He gave a small, mischievous wave to him before heading back up to the stage to prepare for the intense bridge section. He strutted back to center-stage, taking a deep breath and-

_Click!_

_…_

_…_

There was complete silence from the speakers, a jarring contrast to the ear-splitting volume of music that was playing not even a second ago. The crowd collectively let out sounds of confusion and began murmuring amongst themselves, obviously trying to theorize as to why the music suddenly stopped.

Kyungsoo was frozen. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe for what felt like an eternity. He looked around, trying desperately to figure out what to do; he looked to Jongin for help, but even he seemed to be lost, only being able to offer an apologetic smile and a thumbs up. Kyungsoo looked to the slight opening between the wall of the stage and the curtain, where he locked eyes with Baekhyun. “_Sing!” _he mouthed, waving his hand frantically, as if that would somehow get his point across. Oh yeah, Kyungsoo thought, he knows the song word for word.

Never a boring show, right?

_ Up where the mountains meet the heavens above,_

_ Up where the lightning splits the sea,_

_ I could swear there is someone, _

_ Somewhere,_

_ Watching me!_

The crowd collectively gasped when Kyungsoo started singing, his voice reaching the back of the audience even without the aid of a microphone. His rich tone and natural R&B color fit the vibe of the song perfectly, and the crowd couldn’t help but to sing along with him, harmonizing with him and some, more enthusiastic, patrons even providing backup vocals. Even Jongin, who would almost always come to Kyungsoo’s musical performances in college, looked stunned at how powerful his boyfriend’s voice was, considering how freaked out he looked when the music cut out. He was always full of surprises; that’s part of the reason Jongin fell in love with him in the first place.

_He’s gotta be sure_

_ And it’s gotta be soon_

_ And he’s gotta be larger than life!_

_ I need a hero!_

With a final pose, Kyungsoo’s performance had come to an end, and the audience _erupted _into applause. They cheered and hollered louder for him than they had done for any other performer that night and, if Kyungsoo was being honest, it was quite overwhelming. With so many emotions swirling around in his head, it was difficult to process anything other than him blowing a final kiss to the audience and walking backstage again, when he was immediately swarmed by the other queens, who were all telling him how shocked they were, how amazing his voice is, how ‘natural’ of a performer he is, and a million other praises that had Kyungsoo blushing red under all his makeup. He thanked them profusely for all the kind words of praise, then wished them good luck and made his way back into the dressing room. Jongin was already waiting for him there with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face, and immediately ran up to hug Kyungsoo and spin him around a few times.

“Holy shit! Baby! That was incredible, I can’t believe that actually just happened,” Jongin exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement as he pulled Kyungsoo impossibly tighter. Kyungsoo laughed, albeit a little choked, at Jongin’s infectious happiness and hugged him back. They stayed like that for a few moments before Kyungsoo just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jongin, I can’t b- breathe.”

“Oh, my bad,” he laughed, letting go of Kyungsoo and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He looked so cute like that, Kyungsoo thought, all excited but still a little shy when he realizes he let his enthusiasm get the best of him. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but go up on his toes to give Jongin a kiss on the cheek, ignoring the weak groan of protest he let out when he realized he’d be left with a red kiss mark. He didn’t really mind, though; he just liked teasing his boyfriend a little every now and then.

“Thank you, Nini,” Kyungsoo replied sweetly. He grabbed Jongin’s hand, squeezed it once, then walked towards his vanity again. “Come ‘ere and sit, it’s gonna take a while for me to take all this off.” Jongin happily obliged and skipped over to the seat next to Kyungsoo. He sat down and the two immediately began chatting about whatever popped into their head.

Six pumps of oil cleanser, some mad banter, a make-out session later, Kyungsoo and Jongin were back on the train headed towards Queens. After being on such a high all night, it would have been normal for both of them to be a little exhausted, but something was different. Something was off, and it had to do with Kyungsoo. Instead of his usual exhausted and blissful expression that he wore after shows, he looked stern, almost angry, and deep in thought. Jongin wondered what he could be thinking about to warrant such an expression, but decided not to pry until they got home. He didn’t want to put Kyungsoo on the spot, especially not while they were in a dirty subway cart in the wee hours of the morning. Jongin simply held his boyfriend’s hand, hoping to provide some kind of comfort to relieve at least some of Kyungsoo’s worries, and they stayed like that for the remainder of the trip home.

~

As soon at Jongin unlocked their front door to the apartment, Kyungsoo let out a loud sigh, kicking his shoes off in front of the shoe cubby and trudged towards their bedroom.

“I’m mad tired, so imma go to bed,” Kyungsoo announced, his words slightly slurred from exhaustion. Jongin felt bad for trying to keep him awake any longer, but he couldn’t let Kyungsoo go to bed in such a bad mood.

“Baby, wait,” Jongin called, taking a few steps towards Kyungsoo, only stopping once the latter turned sluggishly towards him.

“Huh?”

“Um, are you, like… okay?” He felt a little awkward asking, since he was pretty sure he knew the answer already, but he figured coming off like a smart ass wasn’t a great way to get Kyungsoo to open up.

Kyungsoo paused for a minute, his eyes widening, before attempting to go back to a neutral expression. “I’m fi-i-ine,” he assured, “jus’ tired, y’know? Long day, lots of excitement, drinkin’, you know the deal.” He started to walk back to the room again, but Jongin wasn’t convinced that Kyungsoo was really okay.

“Kyungsoo,” he says a little more firmly, now standing up straight and looking directly into Kyungsoo’s eyes. “You were so quiet on the train back, and I know you’re really tired, but it seemed… different, in a way, to the way you usually are when you’re tired,” Jongin explained, looking for any kind of reaction from his boyfriend. The latter’s body went slightly rigid in response and he folded his arms protectively against his chest.

“It’s n- I mean, like… It’s just….” Kyungsoo was having an internal debate as to whether he should just confide in Jongin or just sleep it off like he so desperately wanted to; either way, however, he struggled in finding the right words and was becoming more and more frustrated with himself for not being able to articulate his feelings well. Jongin noticed his struggle and walked closer to Kyungsoo, grabbing both of his hands and holding them as if they were the most delicate things in the world.

“Take your time, ‘Soo. You know I’m always here for you, right?” Jongin asked, even though he knew what the other’s answer would be. Kyungsoo sighed and nodded defeatedly, his eyes shifting side to side as he, again, tried to find the right words to say. They stayed like that for a moment, hand-in-hand, before Kyungsoo finally lifted his gaze back to Jongin’s. He sighed again, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it again, still unsure.

“I guess,” he finally said, eyes shifting again, “I guess I’m just, I don’t know, disappointed? Upset?” Kyungsoo sounded so unsure of himself and it tugged at Jongin’s heart to hear him sound so defeated. His boyfriend was usually nothing but confidence and grace, so to see him as the polar opposite of those, after he had come so far, was jarring.

“I just wanted the show to go perfectly tonight, y’know? Like, I’m glad everyone still enjoyed it, because that’s the most important part, obviously, but I had spent so much time before that hyping myself up, feelin’ the vibe, ‘n all that. I was so _in character_, I felt like the baddest bitch in the world, but as soon as the music stopped, I just froze.” He laughed bitterly and rubbed roughly at his eyes in an attempt to hide the small tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. “I couldn’t even do anything until a friend I met literally twenty minutes before I went on told me what to do; I don’t know what would’ve happened otherwise…” he trailed off, looking down at his feet, the wall, their room, and literally anywhere else besides at Jongin. “I don’t know, it’s dumb, maybe I’m just tired-”

“No, no, no, ‘Soo, it’s not dumb at all,” Jongin interrupted. He knew it was important to listen first and speak after, but he couldn’t stand how upset Kyungsoo looked and how he immediately tried to backpedal and blame his feelings on the exhaustion again. “I totally understand, and nothing I say is guaranteed to make you feel better about what happened, but,” he paused for a moment, wondering how to word his thoughts before speaking up again. “Everyone in the crowd loved you from the start; I told you before that you shine brighter than anyone on the stage, right? And it’s not just because of the stage lights, don’t even start.” He got a small giggle out of Kyungsoo for that, which was a confidence boost Jongin didn’t know he needed. “They loved you, and when you showed them a skill beyond what they expected, they fell _even harder_.” He led them both back to their bed and sat down behind Kyungsoo, wrapping his arms around his torso and resting his chin on the other’s shoulder.

“And let’s say you did freeze completely and nobody told you what to do,” he continued, “The likeliest thing that would’ve happened was that whoever was in charge would’ve apologized for the error, boot the speakers back up, and have you either start over or pick up where you left off.” Kyungsoo spent a few moments thinking of what Jongin’s logic; he supposed he was right. He had seen other drag performances go through technical difficulties, and always thanked every god that may exist that it wasn’t him, but the queens had always just laughed it off and made a joke about it to keep the mood of the crowd up. It always worked out in the end, but Kyungsoo was always so focused on the negative aspect of it that he never stopped to think about what he would do if that ever happened to him.

“I guess you’re right,” he said, finally breaking the brief silence that had fallen over them. “I wanted everything to be perfect, but it wasn’t and that’s okay.” Kyungsoo rested his cheek on the top of Jongin’s head, breathing in the scent of tea tree conditioner, argan oil, and _home_. He held the arms that were wrapped around his torso, stroking gently as he now tried to relieve Jongin of any worries he might still have about Kyungsoo.

“No use thinking about what-if’s, right?”

“Exactly,” Jongin agreed, and Kyungsoo could feel the former’s smile grow against his shoulder. They sat like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s company without feeling the need to talk anymore. Kyungsoo loved that, loved how they didn’t need words to communicate their love to on another, loved how safe and warm he felt wrapped in Jongin’s arms, loved the feeling of his breath coming out in little puffs against his skin. It was intimate in the smallest of ways, but it made their relationship stronger in ways Kyungsoo couldn’t even comprehend.

Jongin suddenly lifted his head, scooching closer to Kyungsoo so he could look at his face more easily.

“You know I love you most, right, _hyung_?” Kyungsoo smiled at the unexpected Korean term and fully turned around so he could tackle Jongin to the bed, peppering his face with a million kisses. Jongin burst into laughter and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but follow; Jongin’s happiness was contagious and Kyungsoo was especially susceptible.

They didn’t always need words to communicate their love for each other, but Kyungsoo figured that, at least every once in a while, it was nice to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fic in five years, can you tell?  
Seriously, though, this was one of the most challenging things I've done in a while and I'd be lying if I said I didn't get frustrated a few times, but it was a good learning experience and really I'm glad I stuck through to the end! Also, a huge thank you to the lovely prompter!! I’m sorry for deviating from the original prompt so much, but I hope you still enjoy it😭 Also an enormous thank you to the admins of this fic fest for putting this all together and running everything so well💕
> 
> A few notes:
> 
> If you couldn't tell, this fic takes place in New York. Jongin and Kyungsoo live in Flushing, Queens, which I chose specifically because it has a very high Asian-American population (and totally not because I used to live there shhh). Poughkeepsie, where Baekhyun is from in this universe, is about an hour away from the city. Junmyeon, like fic!Baekhyun said, was born and raised in the city (I imagine him to have originally lived in Brooklyn before moving to the upper east side with his parents around 10 or 11 years old). I have never stepped foot in Texas, so I don't know where Jongdae would be from, but most likely somewhere that's near a big city (which made it easier for him to adapt to city life in nyc). 
> 
> Juilliard is the most prestigious music school in the the States, and Ithaca College is another university that had a really comprehensive music program (it's a liberal arts school). 
> 
> I referred to Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Junmyeon as "she" until their names were revealed. This was partially because they were in drag, and also just for ease of reading. 
> 
> A few disclaimers: I am not super familiar with the drag world beyond the queens I follow on Instagram and the very few drag shows I've been to in my life, so PLEASE let me know if there are any major inaccuracies and I will do my absolute best to correct them. I researched as much as I could, but I'm only human, so there are bound to be mistakes; please be kind :')
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading! I hope you have a lovely day 💖


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